Looking Back While Moving Forward: Three Reflections on 2023
Well, it’s officially 2024, y’all! Like many, I have spent some time reflecting on 2023. I think about what I learned, how I changed, who I met, who I lost and left behind, what I accomplished, and where I failed, for that matter. Had you told me last year that today would include blogging on my website, submitting a BOIR, winding down a coaching program, and onboarding for a new contract role—I’d have been surprised, delighted, and perhaps a bit concerned. As with every calendar year, there was joy, growth, change, and hardship but this year felt more substantial than others. I boogied down with family and friends at my wedding reception, acquired a brilliant new niece, took a hiatus from the formal working world, buried two grandparents, embarked on several multi-month certificate programs, and filed the LLC paperwork that I had procrastinated for years. That said, while I could probably write an entire dissertation on the past year’s learnings, I will spare us all and instead share a few thoughts.
Reframing my personal and professional identity. Whether it’s the rapidly evolving world or my generational views, age, or current life situation, the way I see myself as a person and professional is changing. Last year invited me (and forced me, if we’re being honest) to acknowledge and own just how much of my identity is tied up in my career, job, or workplace. Whether through service to others, navigating professional growing pains, or developing friendships, my workplace and those in its cosmos provide a larger sense of community and purpose for that matter. As an empath and HSP, the things that happen “at the office” impact me far beyond my working hours. As it’s no longer just me in the house, those impacts are directly felt by those around me, for better and for worse. After years of existing and thinking like this, both leaving a job or finding yourself in a role that no longer provides meaning and value can be disorienting and overwhelming as you try to understand and untangle your sense of self. As I take on more contract work and side projects in the new year, I’m still trying to figure out what iteration of work-life integration works best for me and my little family moving forward. Despite resenting the process at times, I’m grateful to have the learning and ability to pivot and configure life as needed.
Society’s perception of “work” being synonymous with a job/career. I cringe ever-so-slightly each time I hear those domestic and parenting warriors in my life say things like, “Well, I don’t work” or “I just say at home.” I try to lovingly remind them, without being obnoxious or condescending, that they do work; they just don’t get a paycheck. After becoming a self-proclaimed stay-at-home dog mom this past fall, I can confidentially say that full-time home and family management is one of the hardest, most unfulfilling, and undervalued positions I’ve ever held. This is not to imply that the role comes without value, moments of satisfaction and joy, or recognition and gratitude from my husband for our improved well-being, of course. For me, leaning into the short and long-term to-do’s of the home and family is both daunting and overwhelming. Honestly, I still don’t know how anyone who takes care of a home with children or adult members with unique needs has time to use the bathroom. I have always been an advocate of using appropriate language to recognize the amount of work and value home management has, but this recent reminder of what “non-working” individuals like me spend our days doing further reinforces it. Everyone works; it just looks different sometimes and doesn’t always come with a pay stub. We as a society need to better frame our thought process and language around recognizing this.
Gratitude for the changing face of healthcare. Life didn’t stop when I left my job last fall, and we missed the mid-year insurance enrollment deadline for my husband’s plan by two days. Between COBRA and alternative insurance options, the expense was so much more than most could reasonably afford each month. So from August to December, I was reacquainted with that terrible feeling of being uninsured in a first-world country that profits off of healthcare. As someone who proactively and reactively utilizes physical and mental healthcare, it meant a lot to be without reasonable access to it, especially given my worst-case-scenario brain and aging body. In years past, being uninsured meant trying to locate free clinics or resources, which is a highly consuming process and not always accessible for a multitude of reasons. While “affordability” is certainly a relative term, I was incredibly grateful this past fall to have access to the expanding world of drop-in retail clinics and telehealth options. Though not without limitations or cost, being able to get an affordable diagnosis and prescription access for routine healthcare needs without dropping hundreds of dollars on medical visits and labs was AMAZING. I can’t even express how lucky I felt for the lower costs and logistics of retail and online clinics to address my immediate health concerns. Society still has a long way to go, but I hope that with technology and advocacy, we will continue to see more convenient, affordable, and accessible healthcare for everyone who needs it.
So, there you have it. I know there will be more epiphanies and “wait a minute!” moments as I continue to mull over 2023. In the meantime, I’m grateful to reflect and share some of my thoughts and ideas with those who may find them useful or interesting. Anyway, 2024 is here. Let’s see what happens next.
Until next time, y’all be kind out there.
