“So, how IS it?”
…is the question I keep getting asked by friends, family, and colleagues, hungry to know about life without work. “It’s amazing!” I generally reply, keeping my answer short and sweet. This statement usually elicits relief and excitement as they picture a childless, workless life of sleeping in, lounging around, and doing only those things which bring one’s heart fulfillment and contentment. But, spoiler alert: That’s not quite the life I’m living. Don’t get me wrong—I am fully embracing this time of being free of work email, obligatory administrative duties, and the endless bureaucracy one deals with at a company or organization. Let’s be clear though, while I don’t have a job on the books, I AM still working. The difference is that I’m just not getting paid for it.
My life is structured differently, and I find myself doing things like taking a nap when my body needs rest instead of the usual caffeine dump; reading the books I’ve hoarded for personal and professional development without falling asleep three minutes in; and making nutritious meals instead of shovel-eating whatever carbohydrate of convenience I can find before jumping back online. Even not having paid employment, I am still in awe about the amount of work and adulting that needs to be done. Whether it is following up on what feels like the umpteenth call on a misclassified insurance claim, getting to the post office to return a package my brother sent to me by mistake, or taking on the someday-when-I-have-time project to-do list for our old house—I can’t believe how packed my days still are. And, that’s not even counting the professional development projects that I strategically left a paid job to accomplish like building a website, completing certificates and courses, and scheduling informational meetings with people I’d like to know more about. IT’S A LOT.
That said, some of you may be reading this and thinking to yourself “Hello, first-world problems” to which I completely agree. These do seem like pretty luxurious issues considering the plight and challenges of many around the world, especially when I grew up regularly hearing “think about the starving children in Africa” slathered in Catholic guilt. But, as I try to remind myself and others, at a certain point problems are still problems and the challenges we face are relevant to our lives. Take that and pair it with things like an upbringing where your human worth was determined by what you did and who you served, and then add living in a capitalistic culture of inequity—it’s mind-boggling to me that anyone even makes it out of the house with pants on, much less non-stretchy pants. We have just become so accustomed to U.S. life and the way our society functions and dysfunctions when things like rest, nutrition, and education become luxuries instead of core tenants of life.
So, as I go through this process, I have been challenging myself (and suggest the same for you, my dear readers) to not only give myself a proverbial pat on the back, but to take a moment to truly acknowledge the time, money, and physical/mental/emotional energy it takes to navigate modern day life. While I most certainly feel fortunate to be able to do all of these without the added stress of waking up for a 9-5 job, I by no means pretend that I will somehow find the magical elixir needed to better balance it all once I return to paid work. What I do know is that just having this rest and reprieve to begin to reflect and process the life changes, trauma, and burnout of the past few years is making me a better human, aunt, friend, wife, sister, and daughter. So, be kind to yourself. Take into account all that you’re doing. And, recognize that living in the world we do—if you made it out of the house with pants on, you’re doing just fine.
